Dirty Little Secrets

I had lost a best friend. It seemed like I had lost my right arm or something. My life was at a standstill. I had gone numb. My heart had gone totally cold and it felt as if it will neve r warm up to anyone again. I kept staring at his contact no. on my cell’s address book and kept reading his forwarded messages from months ago for hours, hoping that maybe the ferocity of my gaze would make him think of me, maybe for a nanosecond or something. Maybe make him remember that I was his friend, once upon a time. All I did was weep and let myself get lost in all our memories together. I never thought I could laugh again. No. It seemed too childish after feeling intensity of the pain that was going through me. Laughter seemed like a distant dream. All I was capable of doing was wallow in despair over his loss. In short, I was totally acting like a drama queen. Isn’t it bugging when all you want to do is lose yourself to the misery and depression and dive into the oblivion of his memorie

                                                                                                 :: unspoken words :: unregistered thoughts :: uncertain promises :: unaltered love :: unexpected visit from an unforgettable friend :: unvisited dreams :: unreasonable sorrow :: unintentional fights :: unheard apologies :: unhelpful musings of an unoccupied mind :: unidentified music :: uncontained smile :: unruffled pages of an unopened book :: ungoverned joy :: unlucky time :: unresolved conflicts :: unpleasant memories punctuated with uncovered tears :: unnoticed gloom :: unconnected snippets :: unadventurous being :: unblemished separations :: unheard goodbyes:: unachievable goals :: unanswered questions :: unquestioned answers :: unceasing wait for an undeserved friend :: unaccompanied loner :: unobserved distance :: unbearable sweetness :: unplugged happiness :: unjust loyalty :: unconscious decisions :: undeniable results :: unclogged visions of an unwell past :: unstoppable pain ::

I wasn’t ready to meet him. Not yet. Not now when I knew this was gonna be IT. The very last moment. I looked up at the blue sky. Smooth, plain, peaceful. The sun only adds to its immensely beautiful force. How neat! I was jealous. Why couldn’t I be like that heavenly, blue sky? Why can’t I have some peace? Why do I always have to be trapped in turmoil and depression? Where the hell is he? This is the CCD he said he’ll come to, right? WTF! It’s been 45 minutes now. But I was internally feeling a little relieved that it has not happened yet. As far as I’m concerned, this moment could pause here forever and take me as far away from *separation* that I have been trying not to think about since last month. I ordered cool blue. I had to have something cool and soothing owing to the fact that my head was already bubbling with unpleasant, confused anticipation since the time I had entered. My head had heated up so much because of so much tension and sadness that I had to cool it off before

“It’s so beautiful isn’t it? This place? So calm and serene? So peaceful?” she asked Nikhil “and I just can’t believe it’s gonna be ours. Oh! I’m so happy I could dance. And I’ll warn you beforehand, I’m doing the interiors. After all, it’s our place! I want it to look just heavenly!” “As if I have any other option, eh?” he replied with a cunning smile on his face “and anyways, who cares about a stupid house when you have such a beautiful fiancée to look at?” Tamanna blushed deeply. “I never thought this would happen. It seemed just so impossible, didn’t it? And look now. Me and you, here together, hand in hand, looking at our future!” “Ah! Perfect moment, isn’t it?” he agreed and then with mock disappointment, “if only…” She got the hint. She placed both his hands on her waist, stood on her toes and then….they kissed. Tears of happiness started rolling down on her cheeks with great rapidity as she stood there near the window reliving the best time of her life. It was bliss

When do you know that this is it? The end? When exactly do you realize that holding on to someone is not working out but smothering your relationship so bad, it could just die? When do you know that you can’t take it anymore? That you’ve done everything in your power to make your relationship work but it’s just making you all the more distant from him with every passing second and now you’ve reached the limit…you give up? When is the right time to say your final goodbye? When do you know that its time…time to LET GO?                                                        We were friends. We shared everything with each other. Every bit of gossip, every silly rumor, even the most useless, almost negligible, stupidest and silliest piece of information. We could talk about anything. I remember we had once debated about the consequences and effects of feeding Chinese to cows. We criticized each other on a daily basis. We shared a hell lotta insane, impossible ideas and stupidly enough, al

She- I’m trying to talk to you here. Do you mind not showing attitude and looking at me for once. Me - Fine. What? She- I agree it was my fault but what you said was very offending too. It’s not totally my fault you know. Me - Yeah, whatever. You proved your point. It’s my fault. It’s always my fault. I get it. I’m sorry. Happy ? She- Shut up, you. You’re taking it the wrong way. I – Me- Oh! I’m taking it the wrong way, now! Yeah! That’s what you always wanna say innit? YOU WANNA ACT THE FORGIVER IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AND MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A VERY CONTEMPTUOUS, EGOISTIC BITCH. YOU NEVER – She- SHUT UP. THAT’S ENOUGH. I’m trying to solve this problem, trying to make you see sense and you- you- you’re totally blowing it out of proportion ! Me- Yeah, ok. I’m sorry. Listen, I’m not in the mood to fight. It’s 2 in the night and I’m very sleepy. So do you mind? She- Of course I mind. We gotta talk about this. Now . She wasn’t gonna drop it. ME- I’M NOT IN THE FUCKING MOOD!

this is not my creation...i was just too bored to pen down my own thoughts and i actually ROFLMAOed when i read this...... its worth reading just for the fun of it...Rajnikanth fans-no offense! so here goes!! - - - Rajanikanth makes onions cry Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them. Rajanikanth can build a snowman..... out of rain. Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone. Rajanikanth can drown a fish. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off. When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die. Bullets dodge Rajanikanth. A Handicap parking sign does not

She stood there with her hands on her hips. Her head all creased up just the way they always did whenever she was very confused or when she had a severe headache. She had three white shirts in front of her and was talking on her cell phone with a frown on her face. I couldn't help giving an audible chuckle. She heard it and turned to see who it was. I tried to hide myself by bending down on the pretence of tying my shoelace but she had already seen me and had frozen in mid-conversation. I was stumped. It was her eyes that had started it all. Her eyes had some secret mystical force about them which always rendered me speechless. The very first time she had unleashed the full power of her eyes on me,I had blurted out my love for her without thinking twice. She had just smirked at me and walked away with her giggly girlfriends in tow. But she finally saw something in me which attracted her and we started carrying on after just 1 month of my embarrassing introduction. It's been