Sunday, November 27, 2011

Lost, shaken...not broken.


When dreams shatter in front of your eyes,
When its so painful you have to lie,
Some hurtful words that could cut a stone,
An unfixable fight that leaves you alone,
When your best of efforts go to waste,
When you remember bad choices you made in a haste,
When darkness stops scaring you inside,
When light falls on your face, it feels uncomfortably bright,
When you realize your love is a second too late,
When unceasing pain feels like an unfortunate fate,
Its not kiddish to let your guard down and cry,
It may seem impossible, but the next pain will definitely make you smile.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Yes, I know you know it.

Life is a bitch. My only advice to you is run. Run before she catches up with you and bites you in your bum. 

If you’ve read the above lines and agreed (sadly or grudgingly or whatever) you’ve been bitten already, HARD and it wouldn’t hurt to yell some well chosen curses to the wind either. Do it now. Let the pain out. Let your folks think you’re out of your mind. Let someone get offended and yell some profanities back at you. Let the birds fly away from you in shock. Let your boss fire you for going nuts. No… no, don’t. I take that back. Go yell in a bathroom or something if you’re in your office or yell at someone who works under you. Show them that you’re the boss. Be Hari Sadu from the advertisement for naukri.com if you want to and as liberating as that may make you feel, make sure the Hari Sadu of your life doesn’t get to see your performance. *winks* After all he’s the one paying who is paying you for everything you own down to your underwear, right?

You see the irony here? You can do what you want. You can dance naked, you can shave your head or color them yellow, you can swear, you can get drunk and stupid, you can spend all your money on your secret mistress, you can read Kama sutra in public, you can pee on someone’s new shoes, you can make hell break loose but you have to make sure you don’t do it in front of the wrong people. You’re the owner of the biggest alcohol brand in India but you can’t drink to celebrate your success. There’s freedom and there’s ten new laws smothering your rights to use that freedom.

I know you’re going to shout “cliché!” in your head now but life is not changing. She’s going to take two long strides and bite you whenever you stop to rest and drink water. And as many stitches and medications you take afterwards, there’s going to come a bite that will render all your needles and high priced capsules useless. You are going to shout “aw fuck” and the next thing you know, you’re dead. The point, you ask?

 The point, my friend, is that the bitch will bite you regardless of whether you’ve won a Nobel Prize for some outstanding achievement or whether you’ve screwed up big time and you’re forty and unmarried and still living off your parents’ money.

So, it’s always been upon you whether you want to spend the rest of your life being chased by a bitch or whether you want to stop, throw a biscuit at her, cuddle her and make her your pet for the rest of your life.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Impulse



In all of the 15 minutes that the old man stood in the rain, dripping water from his shiny white hair, chin and suede elbows, serenity never left his eyes, and amusement his lips. He could totally have passed as an ancient sculpture, just left there in the rains, washing away, melting, vanishing right there in front of your eyes in the haze of the torrential downpour. His stance was hypnotizing; there was nothing different or special at all about him. Everyone around him were enjoying the romantic whether – couples walking hand in hand, friends fooling around, kids dancing around in their gum boots and raincoats, parents sitting on a bench and watching their kids, yelling warnings when the children ran too far, loners sitting there and losing themselves to the rains. Everything was dreamlike; like the scene had just been cut out of a happy movie. If there was something or somebody to look at, you would choose to see the kids: carefree, innocent, thrilled or the couples: blissful and romantic. Who would want to look at a lonely old man and feel guilty about his solitude and have images of their children’s treachery in their heads? 

The middle-aged lady sitting at the bus-stop was compulsively arranging the pleats on her umbrella to tie it just like it had been when it was brand new. Even though she had been doing it just to pass time until her bus arrived, the sight was very disturbing. 5 minutes into her constant straightening of the fabric, the bus had arrived and in a hurry to get in, she stuffed the umbrella in her already overflowing bag. All the tidy pleats lost, it lay messy and forgotten in the lady’s bag while she now sat in the window seat, enjoying the monsoon outside.

A little kid stood at the edge of the footpath, his legs see-sawing against the concrete. His annoyed expression didn’t leave much too the imagination. Every few seconds his eyes would search his shoes for any sign of damage, having already lost his watch to the rains. He was extremely fidgety. He’d hold his raincoat together tightly around his body and just try to be comfortable when his cap would fall off his head; when he’d let go of his raincoat to adjust his cap, his t-shirt would get wet and he would yell audible profanities at the rains or maybe to the broken zipper of his raincoat. But right out of nowhere, his head smoothed out of what seemed like permanently etched creases, his irritation was replaced with a coy and hopeful smile and he was smartening the little of himself that he could. The next minute a pretty girl holding a girly umbrella had approached him and all the previous annoyance forgotten, he let go of the raincoat and followed her into the never-ending downpour.

It wasn't like her to be so impulsive or irresponsible but she seemed to have forgotten just what she has been missing out on in her busy, scheduled life and what she was slowly turning into.
She closed her umbrella, stepped out of the shelter of the bus stop and started walking, not caring for the first time in all these years about the consequences or about what lay ahead. 

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Cliché

Don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order. There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.
Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there's no point coming first. Same is with life where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, may start to die.
One thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. Life is not to be taken sincerely as we are really temporary here. We are like a prepaid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up?
Its ok, bunk a few classes, scoring low in a couple of papers, goof up a few interviews, take leave from work, enjoy with your friends, fall in love, little fights with your loved ones. We are people, not programmed devices.
Don't be serious. Be sincere.
Chetan Bhagat
at Symbiosis



You grow everyday - mentally, physically, emotionally.
I am stronger now. I don't hurt as easily as I used to earlier.
I am coiling back into my shell slowly and willingly, but there are some experiences for company now, which makes me a different person, a better person, a secure person. They make all the difference between what I was five years ago and what I am now. Between the insecure, suspicious, overbearing me and the secure, independent, friendly me.

I know I haven't shared things here since a long time and have stopped reading and commenting on people's blogs. I have no reasons.
There is always someone you hate or love without any reason. You'd be tongue-tied if someone asked you to explain abput it. Then there are times when you don't feel like being around certain people and doing certain things. You draw yourself away from those things and people. You create enough distance to be comfortable. This may be read by some as attitude or rudenss but others, who have felt this way, will know how it feels, and would know is temporary and would know you still love them. But sometimes you just need your own space.


I'm coming back. Little by little. 
Just stay tuned.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Dream!




Coz that's the only place where you can fill a booklet full of curses, lyrics and jokes in exams and still get full marks!

Coz that's the only place where you can kiss your best friend's hot boyfriend and get blessings from your friend instead of swears and punches!

Coz its the only place where you can sing like a frog and dance lika an itchy hen and be praised more than Michael Jackson!

Coz its the only place where you don't run behind your father begging for a new cellphone but its he who says its high time you took one!

Coz its the only place where you have a perfect life with a sea-facing mansion, Ashton Kutcher for a husband and blue-eyed twins for kids!

Coz its the only place where fat and ugly is in!

Coz that's the only place where "impossible" is made to hide its face and make a run for it.

Dream!
You don't wanna end up regretting not getting to live the life you always wanted now, do you?

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Birthday shopping means shopping for all the days of the birthday month...right?

Coz thats what I've done! *tries to not look guilty at all*

Its birthday time for Dandelion!!!!!!!!! 8)
I've always been excited about my birthday but this year seems different. Reason? Dandelion has made so many new friends and all of them are so so besharam that she's gonna lose every single penny she has in treating them for being born with no special talent other than making it a tradition to cry atleat once on every birthday!

I'm an adult and there's never been a single day since last February which actually made a difference. :[
I still can't ride bikes. My car is rusting away too. I'm still too young to drink. *winks* I don't even have a credit card.
The only thing I've done which makes me feel all grown up and important is DONATE BLOOD!!!
*claps claps claps*
The fainting and blackouts we won't talk about. Why ruin the proud moment, eh? ;)

And oh, for all those who want to gimme gifts for my 19th birthday, jus lemme know...I'll contact you! :P

There's Purple Peeptoes, who can make my birthday happening, albeit belatedly, by giving away this wonderful jhola to my blog!



It does make you eyes pop out no!
I've got my fingers crossed. You'd better do that too!


Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Isn't it reason enough?


I look at you - laughing as if there's no bother in the world that can ever make you frown, feeling my gaze and looking at me questionably, calling my name, trying to shake me out of my reverie, failing to realize that its you who I am actually into, not an oblivion, not any dream. Its you who has me so caught up and mesmerized. You, whom I never want to forget. You I look at and smile, subtly trying to capture all the emotions and actions that I know will fade one day...just like everything else.

Never ever have I hated time so much. Never ever felt that desperate urge to smash the clock and stop its rhythmic, almost hypnotic ticking forever. I already see you blurring around the edges, making me feel exactly how helpless I am in front of time. Face heated up, scrunched up in concentration not to ruin this perfect moment of bliss, I wonder if I'll ever forgive time again...for helping me through, for taking this away, for making  all these days just a blurry image of a forgotten past, for making YOU so hazy, so distant, that I would be forced to question whether WE actually ever existed.

The worst part would be seeing you and feeling nothing... when once, now, it's hard to even see tomorrow without you. Time can do that to you. Time can give you hope to live again. But is that what you really need? Is that what you want? A life where you don't even remember who made it worth living?

Him: Its such a weird feeling you know...having so many close friends.
Me: Oh, I wouldn't know. I've only had you.