On Weddings and Misanthropy!

Gosh, I just realized I hate almost everything. I mean it. I mean I hate animals, Indian food, exams, waking up early in the morning, romance, relationships, couples who go to Singapore-Malaysia for honey moon, summers, monsoon, documentary movies, cigarettes, snobs, children, being told off for being fat, people who think that they are the center of the Earth, The Earth itself, Sony Ericson's keypad, Maths, music that tears on my eardrums, stupid giggling girls, airheads, guys with yucky mustache, etc. etc.

But you know what I hate more than getting up at 7o'clock in the morning, more than children, more than rains, more that being told that I'm fat? It's Weddings!

• I hate having to dress up like a traditional doll with big earrings and even bigger heels and dresses whose heavy bead work poke you and make you itch all over the place!
• I hate having to call out to all the people I know and ask them how they are!
• I hate having to smile all the time [do you even know how much it hurts?] and pretend to be heartily interested in other's boring, monotonous lives! 
• I hate being asked my age again and again and predictions being made about when I'll marry! I mean dude, I've just turned 18. Will you just let me breathe?
• I hate it when the conversation takes an unpleasant turn towards my weight and those over-smart, know-it-all, health experts suggest me a long yawn-able and the most bizarre and ridiculous things to become fit!
• I hate it when people stare at my filled plate like I have committed some very heinous crime in loving sweets, chinese and pastas!
• I hate it when they taunt me in every way possible and I just have to smile through all of it like I wish for nothing but to listen to them embarrass me in front of all the society!
• I hate it all the more when I have to bear all this alone, with my sister vanished into thin air the moment we enter the venue!
• I hate it when instead of taking my side, my parents would give me that look which plainly says, "you're getting a long lecture about this when you get home, young lady. And you better drop that ice-cream that you're holding." [Yeah, like I forced  you to bring me here in the first place, eh?]
• And most of all, I hate the fact that I'm supposed to be shopping for a major wedding event in November wherein my cousin, my mother's most beloved niece, the dream daughter she never had, whom she would have readily exchanged me with and about whom she always lectures me [if given a chance] is getting married. The only thing which keeps my mouth shut is the shopping part!
• The one fact that wins the number one spot in my "I Hate" list is the fact that the wedding is to take place in Rajasthan. I hate my village. The water tastes yuck. There's hot wind always blowing on your face and I'm also a bit scared about marriages in villages after listening to stories which revolve around a restless spirit entering the bride's or anyone else's body [who look smart and whom the spirit takes liking to]. I mean, what if the spirit gets to me? [I know what you're thinking and I'd rather you keep your thoughts to yourself :D]

You know what I think I'll do? I'll do all the shopping [you can never miss that] and then give some reason such as "I've got my exams" or "My students have their exams". The exam thing always work. And trust me, I've got exams every month. No one will suspect anything. :P

Anything to get rid of Weddings. Trust me, when I get married, it's gonna be on a beach. Salaam Namaste types. And there'll be swimming and dancing and staying in tents just after the wedding is over! And yeah, "the family" will be tied and gagged besides me all through the ceremony. :D