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On Weddings and Misanthropy!

Gosh, I just realized I hate almost everything. I mean it. I mean I hate animals, Indian food, exams, waking up early in the morning, romance, relationships, couples who go to Singapore-Malaysia for honey moon, summers, monsoon, documentary movies, cigarettes, snobs, children, being told off for being fat, people who think that they are the center of the Earth, The Earth itself, Sony Ericson's keypad, Maths, music that tears on my eardrums, stupid giggling girls, airheads, guys with yucky mustache, etc. etc.

But you know what I hate more than getting up at 7o'clock in the morning, more than children, more than rains, more that being told that I'm fat? It's Weddings!

  • I hate having to dress up like a traditional doll with big earrings and even bigger heels and dresses whose heavy bead work poke you and make you itch all over the place!
  • I hate having to call out to all the people I know and ask them how they are!
  • I hate having to smile all the time [do you even know how much it hurts?] and pretend to be heartily interested in other's boring, monotonous lives! 
  • I hate being asked my age again and again and predictions being made about when I'll marry! I mean dude, I've just turned 18. Will you just let me breathe?
  • I hate it when the conversation takes an unpleasant turn towards my weight and those over-smart, know-it-all, health experts suggest me a long yawn-able and the most bizarre and ridiculous things to become fit!
  • I hate it when people stare at my filled plate like I have committed some very heinous crime in loving sweets, chinese and pastas!
  • I hate it when they taunt me in every way possible and I just have to smile through all of it like I wish for nothing but to listen to them embarrass me in front of all the society!
  • I hate it all the more when I have to bear all this alone, with my sister vanished into thin air the moment we enter the venue!
  • I hate it when instead of taking my side, my parents would give me that look which plainly says, "you're getting a long lecture about this when you get home, young lady. And you better drop that ice-cream that you're holding." [Yeah, like I forced  you to bring me here in the first place, eh?]
  • And most of all, I hate the fact that I'm supposed to be shopping for a major wedding event in November wherein my cousin, my mother's most beloved niece, the dream daughter she never had, whom she would have readily exchanged me with and about whom she always lectures me [if given a chance] is getting married. The only thing which keeps my mouth shut is the shopping part!
  • The one fact that wins the number one spot in my "I Hate" list is the fact that the wedding is to take place in Rajasthan. I hate my village. The water tastes yuck. There's hot wind always blowing on your face and I'm also a bit scared about marriages in villages after listening to stories which revolve around a restless spirit entering the bride's or anyone else's body [who look smart and whom the spirit takes liking to]. I mean, what if the spirit gets to me? [I know what you're thinking and I'd rather you keep your thoughts to yourself :D]
You know what I think I'll do? I'll do all the shopping [you can never miss that] and then give some reason such as "I've got my exams" or "My students have their exams". The exam thing always work. And trust me, I've got exams every month. No one will suspect anything. :P

Anything to get rid of Weddings. Trust me, when I get married, it's gonna be on a beach. Salaam Namaste types. And there'll be swimming and dancing and staying in tents just after the wedding is over! And yeah, "the family" will be tied and gagged besides me all through the ceremony. :D


Makay said…
Yucky- that does sound miserable- you should dedicate yourself to never having to go through with a wedding like that- holy matramony is supposed to be beautiful! Christian weddings are- look at and look under weddings! It is so pretty. :)

Also I have a giveaway going on! You should check it out and enter!

Love, Makay
Dandelion said…
i know how christian weddings are, Makay and I've been fantasizing about having a christian wedding for like forever!
the movie i mentioned above? Salaam Namaste? It has a christian wedding on the beach! Its totally wow! I especially love the brides gowns!
But you know Indian weddings are awesum too, all the rituals and dreses n stuff, if only the people minded their own business!

I'l look into your blog, thanx =]
Anish Patel said…
I love it, I love it, your post, not Indian wedding.
It is very irritating unless it is your friend's wedding. and mandatory family weddings, aah... I sufferred a lot...

and yes, pls pls pls.. Invite me in your wedding on the beach, I would love to attend.....
why does this all sound do familiar? If I were you, I would have my ipod plugged in all the times at the and just listen to music:-)
Jeweliot said…

you're hilarious!

i HATE weddings too! BIG TIME.

and i'm sure that even my parents hate it now, thanks to me, cuz they are always asked "iski kyun nahi ho rahi shadi ??" and my poor parents are out of things to say.

and some people directly ask me "teri story kya hai!!!"

the fact that i am 28 and unmarried gets tongues wagging big time, i HATE answering questions that are so personal. how the fuck does it matter if i am not marrying this year? at least i am giving you time to shop and buy better clothes!

oh shit, that spirits entering body thing is spooky alright, i think you can use THAT as an excuse, i would.

i love your new blog look, the next time i change my template, it will be something this cute! i love it :)

have fun hehehe... wear a saari next time, they are better than those heavy irritating lehngas and much more glamorous too! + every woman - thin or fat - looks beautiful in a saari !!! :)

in fact, women with curves rock the saari :) i'm dying to wear one
Dandelion said…
Anish: Friends weddings are fun only if you're always with your friend..which is almost always the case!

N ofcourse I'll attend you to the wedding! But hey, I want a beeeeeg and awesum wedding present ok! :P
Dandelion said…
Bollywoodstylediaries: if i plug in my earphones n just do dat all the time, people will get even more things to talk about...already they've got so much to talk about me, they can write a dont know these marvari aunties...gossip is like their fundamental right!
Dandelion said…
Jeweliot: OMG, such a huge comment...

sabse pehle, thanx for the compliment on the blog makeover! I thot it was too girly..par fir i thought ke I hav spent a good 8 hours on this so atlest i should keep it a few days...but nw i thnk il keep it for a while

atleast ur parents r on ur side gal! thats more than enuf..
n ur 28???????
arent u tired of being a spinster???

and dont even get me strtd on the spirit part, i pee in my pants even wen people strt tellin stories abt dem, leave alone live experience!

and i like the idea of a frn wil most probably get married in may...i can think about that...the saree will be better that lehengas in may's sweltering heat, dont u think?
Jeweliot said…
of course im tired of being a spinster now! heheh

and yeah , a saari will be perfect for a May wedding! nothing heavy, something that kisses your body like a breeze! and your fav jewellery

wow, what fun . a friend's wedding is most fun!
Sana Castellano said…
=0 stop hating so much.
- Sugar Cube - said…
lol I don't hate weddings. Although those taunts and questions about your age and weight do get irksome..but weddings otherwise are fun! ( if you have a lot of cousins around ) :)

You hate Indian food ?? :| :|
Disguise said…
Dandelion said…
Sana: lol...impossible! m like this half-misanthrope you know....dangling between misanthropy and philanthropy! :P
can't even classify myself properly :|
Dandelion said…
Disguise: your blog too...n m nt just saying it...i really do!
same pinch! =]

Sugar cube: yeah, i hate Indian Food...go on, hate me!
my mom already does...coz she always have to make me sum other food whenever she makes Indian food...
but hey, i hope you know that "Punjabi" food is an exception here...:P
Disguise said…
Oh my god, I HATE weddings. Always have and probably always will.
I get screamed at for saying that in public cause everyone's all happy and jumpy when a wedding nears, but it's such a pain. oh god.
Dandelion said…
disguise: pain in the ass? u tell me about it...i dont see any way i get to get outta it mother has actualy talked wid my students mothers to let me go...just imagine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MissTerious♥ said…
i hate weddings....All the assholes come together and yea agree with your how much it hurts point.
worst thing is...You cannot just avoid ppl there, best part is the food and dressing up. I prefer weddings of friends, hate that of a stupid cousin or a duur ka fckng relative.
Dandelion said…
food and shopping...the only things which give me the courage to survive weddings! :D
nicely written.... don't forget to invite me if ur marriage is going to be on beach :D

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