The more I meet you and the more I talk to you and the more I observe you makes me know you more and what I see makes me realise that I don't know you at all and it makes me all the more angry and distant from you and all the more confused about myself and our relationship and it makes me wanna stop talking to you totally. But as soon as I think of that, it hurts to know that I wouldn't have you anymore to share my deepest secrets with or remove my anger on or share my crazy ideas with or have someone calm me down when I'm angry or cheer me up when I'm sad...this thought is unbearable...so the less I meet you, the less I'll know you and the less I'll hate you and the less I'll feel like quitting on us. And even though it'll make me all the more distant from you, I wouldn't mind coz atleast I'll get to keep you with me even and talk to you, even if it is for a very less time, coz I can't imagine my life without you. So until I prepare myself to either accept things the way they are and move on with them or decide that it's too much for me and I can't take it anymore, I wan't you more than anything in this world coz the aura of optimisim, love, care and happiness you're always surrounded with and inflict on everyone around you is become a drug for me without which I can't survive...so until then, please bear me coz I'm not ready to say goodbye, atleast not yet...
That relief you feel when you see their eyes stunned and their faces pained - even if for a second - that momentary relief! That is what makes us say hurting things, to be mean. That's what makes us want to scream and swear and make them cry. That relief that makes you feel that you don't have to bear it alone. It's eerily peaceful! That one short moment makes it less devastating. That you're not the only one with problems. You're not the only one fucked up. You are not the only depressed soul. You can see the ghost of the laughter that still hasn't left their mouth before your outburst and it gives you hope, maybe even a little perspective. Suddenly, the world is a much bigger place and you're a barely-existent dot on that globe. You see the bigger picture. You see that there are much bigger problems. Problems that you would never, ever want to encounter. You see that the person standing in front of you - the person that you've just yelled at ...
Comments
Frickin' awesome! Every post of yours is different! Eminemish this time!
btw am a 1st time reader of your post...liked it :-)
black is the way to go!